Passing of my mother

I am now at home waiting for my mother to breathe her last breath on living earth. Ambulance will bring her back to our home for 22 years as it was her wish when she was in the hospital being treated for hospital acquired penumonia which caused lung infection and eventually heart failure.

What started out as a simple knee surgery from having osteoarthritis eventually escalated into life of threatining illneses. After her surgery, her blood pressure, glucose level were over the roof and wasn't able to return home. She was also having fever and doctors were not sure why and wanted to monitor her longer. The bill at sjmc kept piling up and sjmc kept calling us like loan sharks to pay up. After 6 nights at sjmc we decided to move her to University hospital which is half private and by government.  The attending sjmc orthopedic doctor, Dr Rusdi approved this as he said it shouldn't be an issue to have her transferred to University Hospital as it would be just monitoring my mom's health status. To be honest I wasn't entirely happy with this doctor as  when I first met him he talked me in a sarcastic manner when I questioned him on my mom health and the necessity of the surgery.

After a few days at the new hospital, she started to complain hard to breathe.  I was there when she was placed into isolated room (suspected covid but it result ended up negative) and I could see her struggling for oxygen. The next day she was moved to ICU for lung infection and doctor said he acquired penumonia during her stay in the hospital. which hospital we do not know. My dad would say it was mistake sending her to the government hospital but we can't be 100% which hospital she got it from but the thought of "What if we didn't send her to University Hospital" still lingers in my mind....

The day I sent her to the other hospital, we went back home first as she wanted to get some clothes. At first I objected as I was worried about her health. Now I think back it was the last time she was at home alive and conscious. I am glad she did go home. She will be home soon but she won't be conscious and will be the last good bye. I am very sorry Mom and I feel I should have treated you better. You deserved better.

I love you mom. I told her I loved her when was she had a tube in her mouth lying on the bed  and she looked very sad....I wished things to have turned out better as this was really unexpected turn of events. Doctor has given up on her and said whatever they were doing was killing her.

Anyway I hope you will pass to the next world peacefully. It will be hard for my family especially my dad who has been married for 45 years with her. When my mom was admitted into sjmc hospital my brother just departed for a trip to Bangkok and when he came back my mom was still in hospital. He bought a lot of things for my mom from Bangkok but unfortunately she won't be able to enjoy them...... My wife has been very supportive as she has been cooking for us and  giving moral support..I am so grateful to have her as my beloved wife. As for me, I have been crying alot lately but my father, mother and wife been there to comfort me when I should be the one comforting them. I have never cried this way infront of other people before and still in grief over my mother's eventual passing. But I promise I will stay strong for my dad and my family. 

Good bye mom...I love you with all my heart. You are the best mother and strongest woman I have ever known in my life...

Love you and good bye Mom......

Reading Atomic Habits

 Reading a book called Atomic Habits on my Kobo e-book reader.Since I will be out of job soon as my contract with current client firm is ending this month I thought of this. Make small tiny changes in my life.

Some interesting quotes from the book.

Success is the product of daily habits- not once-in-a-lifetime transformations

Win10 keeps asking me to log in after it wakes up from sleep mode - Found Solution!

In my previous company, I signed in with the company's credentials on my laptop's Word/Excel. Ever since then it will keep asking for multisign in to access my persona laptop. I found it rather annoying - I had to enter PIN/thumbprint/Password.

I may have found a solution. 

https://www.tenforums.com/tutorials/11129-turn-off-require-sign-wakeup-windows-10-a.html

Also there is another way by making changes in group policy editor (gpedit.msc) per th elink above in Options 3.  But I am running Win10 Home so it does not have this tool. I am not planing to upgrade to Pro any time soon so i found a way to intall it here:

https://www.majorgeeks.com/content/page/enable_group_policy_editor_in_windows_10_home_edition.html

And tadaaaaa...i can now run gpedit.msc!

Physiotherapy workouts for my ARM and Shoulder

I have been going to SJMC for physiotherapy sessions for the past few weeks. My left arm is still pretty weak and I 'm still unable to lif a 1kg object easily. So I am trying to remember some of the workouts so I can do these at home. My medical coverage for this physiotherapy expires on 9th February 2021 so I may need to continue doing these at home.

These are some of the physio workouts i have been doing.

 

Fracture Humerus 12.12.2020

I have not written anything on this blog since I was retrenched by a company I have been with for 11 long years. I guess my desire to blog diminished since I fell into depression and I was also quite dissatisfied with the companies I joined after leaving Monster. I still love Monster and would rejoin in a heartbeat given the chance.

I am writing to talk about the fracture on my upper left arm.

 It happened on 12 / 12 / 2020. I worked long hours  and late for my current company on Friday, almost 14 hours non stop. But still managed to catch an episode of Mandalorian Season 2, the episode with Bill Bur in it.

It was right past midnight, I wanted to go to sleep and planned to wake up 7am to hit the gym early in the morning. I went into my bathroom while still listening to a podcast on YouTube using my laptop's loud speaker.  This ofcourse wasn't the first time I fell in the bathroom but I usually ended up ok.....However this time i really slipped badly....the floor was wet since I had a late shower after I finished work. This time I could not control my fall well and I tried to balance my fall and tilted more to my left on instinct as i didn't want to knock my head. I fell very very hard on the edge and tip of the bathroom... my upper left side of the arm hit it hard. 

I felt immense pain, sat on the floor and thought I will be ok...just a fall...I will be fine. I was in a daze, my ears ringing and eyesight turned white, I nearly fainted. I felt pain and looked to my left arm. I still remember that sight....I could not believe it... the middle of my upper left arm...it broke and shaped like an L going sideways. I was horrified with what I saw. I couldn't get up as every time I tried to move I cried and shouted in agony. My left arm felt numb - I was frightened of my terrible condition beyond belief. I banged my brother's door which was also adjacent and linked to the same bathroom, I called for his help. My brother and my dad came. They tried to get me up to stand, I felt excruciating pain and nearly fainted from it. I managed to get back up on 2 feet with their help but it was not easy...i was in SHOCK and wanted to go back to my bed to sleep...let it recover by itself Maybe ...just maybe I was hallucinating that my upper arm broke?? It looked like something from the movie THE FLY when that hand was broken during the arm wrestling scene -- but for my case it was on my upper LEFT ARM. The horror....

My brother insisted I go to the hospital and almost called for an ambulance, I said no need to call for ambulance and got up, got into his car...but that journey from my bed to his car.... and then towards the hospital.....the pain I shall not easily forget for the rest of my life. Got into his car, every turn at the cornering he made it felt like arm was about to fall off -- the PAIN. I asked to go to the clinic, we searched for 24 hours clinic.. Mediviron...alam medic...all cinics were closed...due to curfew from covid situation in Malaysia. We decided to head straight to the hospital..I let my brother who was the driver choose. He picked SJMC and we headed there. We reached the hospital and even getting out the car was difficult, I even shouted like a crazy mad man...every time i had to stand up , sit down. The doctor gave a me Covid 19 test...checked my tongue...then stuff something into my nose-- it wasn't a pleasant experience. Doc asked me to move my fingers and left wrist, I was able to move them so my nerve was fine - thank god....

They asked me to do an Xray...it took 10 minutes since it was hard to take the right position of the xray shots ..every movement on my upper arm felt like I was going to die. After one hour the result came. A very bad fracture on my upper arm -- which i discovered days later that part was called Humerus (sounds humorous but it was no joke) . Here is the actual X-ray of my left arm on that day:

Emergency doctor told me I had to go for an operation else I will never be able  to move my left arm again - EVER..... He asked if I had any orthopedic doctor I preferred, i said no he suggested Dr Roshan and I said ok. I gave my personal medical card to my brother and he helped me with the registration.

I finally got into the hospital bed  after 4am. Tired, I cried on my bed ...asking myself...why did it happen to me. I wished for it to be a dream. And I wake up everything will be fine,..not a broken man as I was. I slept after 5am. 

I had the operation on Sunday around 2pm. They gassed and knocked me out during the surgery. I woke up 4pm and surgery was done. They cut me open and planted a metal plate with screws to join back my bones. Now my girlfriend calls me Iron Man. 

I am still recuperating at home...No longer feeling the immense pain but still unable to move my left arm much...still feeling some pain from the cut...i have a 8cm scar now. I do everything now with my right hand only as my left arm I cant move it much, I wrote this article, using only my left hand to type. The year 2020 has not been good to me. I hope I will fare much better in 2021....

I still feel traumatized by what happened to me on that fateful day...and every time I stepped back into the bathroom...it reminds me of that night...how much I suffered....it will not be easy to forget this..................always an unforgettable moment in my life.....12.12.2020....................

My mistakes that led to losses in stock investment

1. listen to friend's buy call. too easily influenced by what friends told me, asking me to buy this and that.
2. reading forums and other people's opnions.
3. buying into over-hyped stocks
4. averaging down stocks.
5. believed that I was right and didnt want to admit my mistakes. too-overconfident from earlier winning trades.
6. buying bad fundamental stocks. After i attended courses, understood what ratios to see...noticed most of the stocks i bought had red flags when I checked their fundamentals
7.not knowing when and how to cut loss.

-- all the above due to greed -from quick money i turn into long term investor-, didnt do research. --

On the positive side, all the above has made me a more humble stock investor. long term i believe i will be hugely successful as an investor. Never give up!

12 basic Principles to Be Rich (feat Li Ka Shing)